CD Release Party
"Looking for Sanctuary" was released to a packed out auditorium of 300 people in mid April, 2005. In one short concert, I went from a girl who was known as the 'piano player' on the church band to local 'singer songwriter.' It was a new feeling to know that my songs (previously private songs of worship) were now in people's CD players.


Making my songs public
You see, prior to my CD release party, I had not often sung in public, and when I did, it was typically to share an original worship song in church. I had never sung outside my church before. In fact, most of my friends did not realize that I had been writing songs since the age of 12. When in late 2004 I was challenged by a family friend to consider releasing a CD after my graduation from university, I took on this project — although I did not realize how much went into making an independent full length album.

First studio experience: Bomb Shelter Studios
The process of working in a studio with Adrian Wilson of Bomb Shelter Studios was exhilarating. Seeing piano songs come to life with a variety of instrumentation was the most fulfilling creative music process I had ever been involved in. My appetite for recording had begun!

Although I was having a blast musically, the songs and the time period of my life was not without challenges. I was grieving the death of a relative, and also struggling with issues of faith.

Here is the text on the album insert of the album:

In the ‘dark night of the soul,’ it seems few songs comfort. When faced with spiritual disillusionment, truth rarely soothes. Yet faith in God need not be entirely absent from the life of a doubter.

Working on this CD project was a most exciting adventure for me, yet at the same time, exhausting: It just so happened that in these months of preparation, I was experiencing a dense spiritual wilderness. I was mourning in more ways than one, and I found myself becoming a cynic and doubter. I had always believed everything about Christianity, but questions set in. I had no choice, however, but to sing and work on these songs of worship day after day, even though I often felt like I didn’t experience them or even agree with them.

This may be my testing, my refinement. Are you in this place? God knows you are. Continue to wrestle – like Job, say, “When He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

These lyrics are a cry, an ache for God and his presence: In spite of the doubts, I will praise you. Where can I go where Your Spirit’s not there. Still my heart, soothe my soul. My eyes are ever on You, Lord. Oh, how I just want to know Him. I want to wade through all the extra ‘stuff,’ the distractions of living this life, and I just want to know HIM.

O God, may I be humbled, may I be thankful. I surrender this project to you. 

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I would like to thank the following for their part in this CD, directly or indirectly:

Adrian and Alison Wilson: for sharing my passion and giving up much personal time for this project. Alan Katerberg, Kristine Terpstra, Brady Wilson: musicians and worshippers who have led by example. Nathan and Cecile Turner, Amanda McAlpine, Jeff Katerberg: artists who volunteered their time and resources. Mark Dunn and Jeff Smith: musicians whose talents I don’t take for granted. KaitlynWilson, Thomas Rauchenstein, Heather McGregor, Beth Fisher, Silas Wong, Christine McKenzie: singers and friends who shared my excitement. My friends who listened, prayed, and counseled: You know who you are! The Elora Road Christian Fellowship: a body of believers who nurture me. Jim and Carrie Gordon: parents who love and support me. Jesus Christ: For being my friend and the reason why I live.